Best friends Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez stole the spotlight at last night’s Golden Globe awards, but it wasn’t their extraordinary talent or amazing outfits that captivated the world. No. Instead, footage of the stars gossiping has gone viral and god, it looks like fun. Watch the clip and tell me you aren’t desperate to join in the breathless outrage, whatever it’s about.
While the internet has been quick to try and interpret the content of what they’re saying (best guess is that Selena asked for a photo with Timothée Chalamet, but his girlfriend Kylie Jenner said no…) I think the fact that we’ve got no idea is the best thing about it. By definition, gossip is calibrated for only a select few ears – that’s what makes it so intoxicating.
Of course, different degrees of gossip entail different degrees of privacy. But just because we’re used to having celebrity news packaged for the wider public, that doesn’t mean that everything famous people chat about is up for grabs. True gossip is inherently private, and the fact that Selena and Taylor have public personas doesn’t make their inner lives any less intimate.
Think back to the last time you really let rip – about a co-worker, a friend of a friend, a family member – and imagine if the world was suddenly privy to your rant. Now imagine if its subject heard. If you’re not cringing, you’re not human. And while we’re at it, don’t try and tell me you don’t gossip. You do – and if somehow you don’t, you should. The behaviour might be tutted at, but science is united on its positive social impact.
Last year, though, a worrying TikTok trend made gossiping an altogether higher stakes pastime. First a trickle, then an avalanche of videos featured self-appointed crusaders for truth using identifying details to track down the subjects of overheard gossip on a highly public stage: think “if your name is Becky and you live in Houston, your four blonde bridesmaids hate your fiancé Ryan”. Becky was never meant to hear that her besties thought poor Ryan was dull, but now the wedding’s off and she’ll never trust her friends again.
These viral videos go against the spirit of a good gossip. It’s supposed to be dramatic, but confidential. It can also be bonding because when we spill our true feelings or opinions on a subject, we’re trusting the person we’re telling not to out us.
Of course, not all gossip is benign, but there is a big difference between gossip and slander, gossip and bullying, or gossip and cruelty. Human beings need to let off steam, and it’s self-aggrandising nonsense to argue that the subject of our frustration should always be the audience for it. If we all went around saying exactly what we thought of everyone to their faces, society would implode. Grow up, get it out of your system and gossip about them instead.
What did one world leader say to another? Which footballer is considering switching clubs? From sport to politics, art to finance, our brains are hardwired for gossip. Basically every humanities degree is the study of gossip from one angle or another – literature is about people who don’t exist, history is about people who did – while whisper networks have allowed marginalised groups without access to official lines of communication to share intel since time immemorial. Arguably, it’s those antiauthoritarian uses of gossip that have tarnished its reputation (not least its association with women and girls, incorrigible scolds that we are).
But the truth is, gossip keeps us entertained and connected, and a huge part of how it does that is by defining its audience. If gossip is about who knows what – whether that’s a political party or a frenemy – I’m afraid that not-knowing is part of the equation. Taylor and Selena were clearly having a ball, and we’ll have our own fun speculating about what they were discussing – an exemplary ecosystem of healthy gossip, in all its outwardly-unknowable glory.
